a true blue story...

im pissed, after you read this true story, you'll know why... and you'll feel pissed for me too... or at least i think u will

here goes...

setting: staff room of river valley high school

my choices of cca: 1st choice- co
2nd choice-choir
3rd choice-com club

cca i got into: band

its not tt i dun like band, i like band. but this is not wad i want to bring out... anywaes...

i hope to get into co cause the instrus are lighter, more suitable to my size... ok, im weak...

the first problem: at co's audition or wadever you call tt, the senior from cello told me tt i have to buy a cello so tt i can join. cost of a cello: around S$500. so i ended up in the unconfirm list instead of the sure go in list.

she lied cause we dun need to buy one... anywaes, qi pian wo gan qing...

so this particular dae, i had my mum write a letter, with her signature, i put it into mrs yao's pigeon hole... i also started the letter with dear mrs yao, so its obviously not for anybody else...

she din come to look for me... so i went look for her a few daes later... as u know shes alwaes bz...
so looking for her is a fairly difficult task...

k, so i finally get to meet her, one dae after school, with my mum...

i said i wrote a letter to her, she insisted tt she dun have... ok, maybe someone else took it and threw it away, maybe the pigeon living in it threw it somewhere, so conclusion, she din recieve the letter... maybe i was cocked eyed for a moment and placed it in the wrong pigeon hole...

so i said i want to change cca... she sae theres only space in ncc... and its too late to change cca... this is her point...
then i said the horn is so heavy, really, last time i cant even walk properly with a horn, and i wasnt even xing gan qing yuan join band de... wadever...
so she said... no la, it s not heavy... and she was looking fairly annoyed, cause im wasting her fairly precious time...
then some time later, mr tan c.l. walk pass, then he said... sth like last time he also band de, then he carry not heavy... the fact everybody knows: hes a guy, im a gal... difference? maybe they dont see a difference... so i told him about problem no. one, one of the cello seniors say must buy cello then can join, causing quite a few problems... so he was speechless, he said he'll ask bout it, i bet he forgot, or didnt ask due to some reasons or another...
so in the end, mrs yao said, you try 3 mths then come see me again...

so i was practically suffering, in a cca tt i din even thought of joining...
so im lousy but wadever, i m very optimistic... and i survived this long...

i was scolded for wadever, because im lousy and is still the lousiest currently and will stay as the lousiest... wadever... at least im pleased tt i dun hav ip or have to suffer 2 more years...

band rawks... but my tutor dont, i feel this wae because im lousy... nobody will feel my way... because im the lousiest, and i care, wadever, cause in future wont cause ive had enough and i mean it, i will not care anymore... due to some factors... that is causing me a emotional break down... i 've had enough...

wad are all these sufferings for? NOTHING, as simple as tt. i know im not suffering like those ppl hu have nth to eat... no parents... those tt have met with disasters or wad... but to me, i dun cry much and only these can make me cry... wadever... im pissed... but glad tt band ppl are nice...

for a while i thought tt maybe i shld work hard since i got into here,,... but wadever, everything is still the same as if i had'nt worked hard... so i start to slack... and guess wad, theres syf when im sec 4 , if i go, i will spoil the whole thing and i mean it, do i care ? perhaps... but im quite sure i won be sad if we din get gold with honours(gwo)... its just wad ms ek wants us to achieve... i think this way... she wants us to set our goal for gwo firstly, because we alwaes gets it..., if we dun get it, others will be somehow, shocked? i may sae... theres nth in the world tt has no stress, i know... but i really dun have the energy n determination to care... it may be the problem in me, the other factors may be the weather or wadever... but y must i care so must since i din get into this willingly...

i know the school does this for our own good, but i personally feel tt its too much, or at least too much for me to handle... theres peer pressure, and much more other pressures tts coming in all directions... if u were me, u'll understand but the problem is, nobody can be me, because i m myslef.. and all humans are selfish... this is a fact tt cant be changed. yes, everybody is selfish, even me... one can try to not be slefish but in someway or another, he will be, and is selfish...

conclusion...

wadever... i have had enough of everything...