ten great reasons to explain why I'm like that:
#1 I always appear calm and composed because there's simply no use panicking.
#2 I have been sensitive to others, concerned about others and I don't feel myself getting much care and concern, at least most of the time. so I'm feeling drained of my energy which i don't have much left. so i always appear to be calm and composed. its time to care more about myself.
#3 I don't have to articulate myself when i don't want to. at least i have the freedom to choose when i want to speak right. so i always rather listen than talk.
#4 I always can't seem to find an entry in conversations consisting of more than 4 individuals. I find interruptions rude, so more often than not i would keep my comments to myself. and if they're funny I'll just have a good laugh inside.
#5 The things that interests me enough to strike a conversation usually are unique. so i just have to strike a conversation with myself. thus i usually answer my own queries.
#6 I enjoy making beautiful things for people whom i care because there's nothing more glad to find out the warmth that people gets when they know you care. and that's perhaps one of the best things one can get in life; sheltering one with an umbrella on a rainy day. the feeling you get when you give is great. but there needs to be a balance between giving and receiving because we're all just human. so i just need a break.
#7 I just keep everything to myself because in the end there's only me who is there for me. there's no need to trouble other individuals with your private problems since they already have enough of their own. and there are so many more people out there who faces worse problems than mine so my problems can be solved or put aside.
#8 I have no super close friends to stick with whenever something happens. I have to be independent, there's no choice. This phenomenon is perhaps due to me being so conserved or due to the various mistakes that i have made. and this is a great regret that i have because time cannot be reversed and i have accepted this fact and so moved on with my life by myself.
#9 I have so many regrets in life although I'm only 18. so i will not let myself face any regret anymore. or i will try my best not to.
#10 The complication of the world is intimidating. I have so many sides of me that others do not know. so I'm still looking for a place where i belong. and so far, the only place that i can identify as that is home - where i can do anything i like and be sheltered away from the outside world that is made up of too many layers that i cannot find an adjective to describe.
disclaimer: this is not a complaint, lament, or anything of that sort. okay maybe a little. but i think i behave so strangely and mysteriously that i have such a meager social network that i greatly accentuated my quietness and calmness. maybe my life's just like that.