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okay, so i was feeling a little emotional today.
and was wondering about random things.
oh, and i suddenly had this thought that maybe we are like a scientific experiment where greater things who control us are trying to find out when the world will come to an end if we live our lives like that.
and i know that they will find out the answer soon.
hmm, i feel so lost nowadays as i have no motivation to perform tasks.
i need to find sth to motivate me.
and i have been wondering about the meaning of life very much.
perhaps because i am going to major in philosophy.
and i feel lost and frustrated when i realise that what people in general are doing now is so meaningless and harmful.
its like every "sane" being that i know of tells me that i should not take philosophy as it is so impractical and gets me nowhere.
so i should take things like business, political science and blah.
but the point is, so they're trying to say that a common degree like accountancy will result in a stable high paying job in future; thus will have a lot of money.
ya i understand that point, but after earning a lot of money: then?
and it also doesn't mean that people who graduate with a major in philo don't have the chance and/or ability to earn big bucks.
i just think that i don't want to lead the conventional life that everyone's leading, study, graduate, get a job, earn money, meet the guy, get married, have kids or not.
okay maybe i am generalising but my point is: i don't have to lead the socially correct way of life, i don't have to lead a life that people who are influenced greatly by the society tells me to and most importantly i only have one life(at least i think so for now) so i want to live it how i think i would be happiest.
okay so i believe that there is no point earning big bucks if i cant spend quality time with my family and friends. but i don't deny the fact that i would wish very much to earn big bucks so that i can exchange objects with them for my family, friends and myself to be happy.
anyways, at least i know what i am doing, and i know where i am heading towards.
the fact is, i have been unsure about things my whole life.
and i have decided to be firm about this.
i think its quite an important decision to make, and i have made it.
so i will just do my best and hopefully prove those who think otherwise wrong.
its like, so what if someone has a degree, not everyone who can study are smart.
i believe that different people have different areas in which they can excel at.
even the educational system is indirectly set by society.
like say if the technique for spinning coins is very important in the society, then everyone must learn to spin coins because if you don't know how to spin coins, you will be looked down upon or become classified as a weirdo since everyone else can spin coins.
but is what society thinks really that important?!
yes and no.